Elegantly Random

This is my stubborn face.

Over Thanksgiving break, my husband and I were doing some holiday chatting and planning - what we need to buy and bake and whatnot in the ever-dwindling time before Christmas and Hanukkah. In my case, I was stressing over my handmade holidays - I'll get to that later. So we're chatting and my husband looks at me sorta sheepishly and he says, "I've got a confession to make. I feel guilty saying it, but I'm going to go ahead and do it."

And of course I, being a world-class worrier, start wondering what horrible thing he's going to tell me. Well, never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined what he was about to confess.

"I sorta want a Kindle," he says to me. And I died a little bit inside.

In case you live in a cave, a Kindle is an electronic device that allows you to download and read books and other publications. You can store up to 1500 books on the thing, and you can easily save your place and return to it. You can also make notes and do other nifty things with it. It can read to you. And it's wireless. It's a magical alien reading device for the 21st century! 

Kindle on Amazon 

Here's the thing - I like electronic gizmos as much as the next person - probably more. I'm a technologically savvy sort of girl. I've got an iPod, a Blackberry, a laptop computer filled with high-tech software. I'm maybe not as savvy as some of my uber-geeky tech friends, but I'm well above average. And I love to read. So you would think I'd be down with the Kindle. It's pretty small, but the monitor is big enough that you can read fairly comfortably. It's portable, so you can take it with you even easier than you can books or magazines. It's cheaper to download books, magazines and newspapers than it is to buy or subscribe, so you quickly make back the money you spent on the device. You can take it to the gym and on airplanes and subways and things. It's green and saves the world a little bit...kind of sort of, but at least the trees are happy. Kind of sort of, but it FEELS greener.

But as much as you might expect me to love it, you'd be wrong. I don't love the Kindle. I'm trying to get excited about it, but I can't. Because I love books. I have loved books - passionately, madly - since I was a tiny, tiny child. I have carried one with me every single day, everywhere I went since I learned to read at age four, maybe sooner. I adore the feel of books in my hands. I like the physical, tangible act of turning the pages. I love the smell of a musty old book - yes, I just said that. I do. I sniff my books. It's true. I sniff the library books too, and I love the comforting old-musty-book scent (and sometimes you get a whiff of the last reader's cologne! Or a crumble of their breakfast! Exciting!). I read books in the gym, standing in line at the store, in bed, in restaurants, EVERYWHERE I can. I consider it the great tragedy of my life that reading in the car makes me sick. I'm a bookworm in every sense of the word.

And I'm afraid - no, I'm not afraid, I'm fairly certain - that the Kindle is a sign of the ever-advancing death of the print industry. Sure, there are some things that will always need to be printed - but magazines and newspapers are already going out of business left and right, as are bookstores. If you can't find a way to get your shit online, it's not gonna sell. Everything is online and most everything is electronic. I don't want to be a stick-in-the-mud fuddy-duddy, but I still want to hold on to my books. Real paper and leather and cardboard in my hands. My logical side can absolutely see how a Kindle or other reading device would be super handy. If nothing else, it would save me SPACE - books are such a pain in the ass to store and to cart around. But I'm not ready. I don't want another electronic gizmo.

Because here's the thing. People say they'll get a Kindle and also still read books. But over time, they won't. Eventually, they'll give up the books, because the Kindle is easier. And humans are laaazy mofos. It's already happened to me with my Blackberry. I can barely function without it. I cannot imagine not having a smartphone anymore. Not an option. It's happening to me with journals. I've had a journal since I was 7. I barely write in one anymore, though, because I write everything on this blog or elsewhere using a computer. Or on my aforementioned Blackberry. The same thing, I feel, will happen with books, and then they'll just be these weird, old-fashioned things that weirdos like me collect. They'll have some in museums and kids will go, "Mom, what is THAT?" "It's a book, sweetie. See, you turn the pages like this..." "I have to TURN the PAGES? MYSELF?!" 

So I told my husband he'd have to wait - for one, because I already bought all his Christmakkah gifts. But also because I'm just not ready. I need a year to mourn over the death of my beloved friend, the printed book.

 

 Y'all probably think I'm being melodramatic but I swear to shit I just shed a tear.

What are your thoughts on the Kindle? Is there any 21st-century bandwagon you're just unable to jump on?

My "big give" - to ME!

It's Bing Season once again - and I realize, being December, also time for a new masthead, which is hopefully coming tonight. Patience, Daniel-san. So this year I did a lot of thinking (as I have the past few years) about Christmas and what it means to me. I had big plans to write about it, but the trouble is I'm still not sure what I've decided so that'll have to wait. Suffice to say, I'm not celebrating Christmas as a religious holiday anymore, and I have a Jewish husband, so we're in the process of "figuring that out." But I love Christmas! The lights! The food! The cheer! The family time! Giving gifts! These things are non-negotiable, and I can't entirely sit them out.

So in order to sort of move in a new direction while still honoring past traditions, I'm working on a Mostly Handmade Christmas, which I'll be sharing with you soon. For the past few months, I've spent basically all my extra time making things for people. Which is awesome - it gives me joy and hopefully the recipients will feel the same. But you know what? I'm getting tired! I am ready to knit and craft for MYSELF! ME! And you know, I got so wrapped up (ha!) in gift-giving, I didn't even make a Christmas list this year. Which is fine. The biggest reason is that I don't really NEED anything. And I want Christmas to be more heartfelt, about really giving with meaning. But the other day I was cranky and feeling like WHAT ABOUT MEEE? I was totally Sally Brown in the Charlie Brown Christmas special - "All I want is what I have coming to me! All I want is my fair share!"

SO, even though I completely abhor what Christmas has become, a bastardized holiday solely focused on commercialism, I made a Christmas list. This list is absolutely, 100% over the top and not to be taken seriously. Of COURSE I can't have all this stuff - but it was sort of like Oprah's Big Give...to myself...in my fantasy. And without further ado, I give you Sarie's List of Ridiculously Lofty and Expensive Coveted Items She Would Never Actually Ask Someone To Buy For Her.

1. Efflorescent Dress and Rain Pools Cardi from Anthropologie:

The combined price of these items is something like $400. I never buy myself expensive clothes. I don't even dare set foot in Anthropologie...I'm too frugal. I just knit things for myself and hope for the best.

2. A sweater's worth of Madeline Tosh Eyre yarn in Fig from Eat Sleep Knit:

I'd love to have you guess what this would cost, but in the interest of time, I'll just tell you. Between $180-200. 

3. Kenmore Drop-In Bobbin sewing machine:

 

This beauty is available at Sears for $199. I'm not a big sewer but I'd like to do more if I had the tools (and the time).

4. A shopping spree at Ikea:

Poang Chair

Manstad sofabed

Malm bed frame

I'm in the mood to redecorate, and I'm re-in love with Ikea for their smart designs and inexpensive storage options. Sure, the furniture maybe doesn't last a lifetime, but neither does my taste!

5. Sony Vaio CW series laptop:

 Early Vaios were buggy, but the new models are really sleek and get great reviews. Totally affordable (under $1000 in most cases) and with TONS of hard drive and memory. I used to daydream about a Mac notebook in 2010 but this is a more realistic option.

6. World map mural from Urban Outfitters:

A lot of the home items at UO are too college-dormy for my taste, but I love the idea of a wall-sized map. It appeals to both my wanderlust and love of history.

7. Pretty new jewelry:

Leda Necklace at We Dream in Color

Inflection Necklace at Small Bird Jewelry 

These are actually not all that pricy, but I almost never buy myself jewelry, so it feels indulgent.

8. A new baby:

What can I say? Human babies are a much bigger commitment!

9. Greece:

No, no, I don't want to own it - I just want to visit. I've been saying this for years, but I keep getting SIDETRACKED by OTHER things. Like England. And Poland. Whine. (Yes, you can roll your eyes).

10. Front-row tickets to a Beck concert:

 

I mean...right?

So that's my wish list - and it was pretty fun to pipe dream there for a minute. Tell me - what are some of the things on your list (real or imagined)? Because Baby Jesus likes materialism! 

Driving me to distraction.

Happy December! I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving - I know I did, full of sloth and eating and sloth. It was lovely.

Around the Carolinas, we're celebrating the first of the month with a new law about texting and driving. According to the Governors Safety Highway Association, 19 states, the District of Columbia and Guam now ban text messaging for all drivers.

The North Carolina Driving Laws website provides more specific details about what is and isn't kosher. The breakdown:

• Adults are allowed to talk on the phone while driving, regardless of whether or not we're using a hands-free device.
• Adults, as of TODAY, are prohibited from text messaging while driving unless they feel like choking up a $100 fine plus court fees.
• Teenagers are not allowed to talk on the phone while driving OR text message while driving.

Now that we've gotten all that lined out - a few thoughts. First of all, I want to make it perfectly clear that I don't think it's a good idea to text message while driving. Obviously, in order to write a text, you have to look DOWN at your cell phone, therefore taking your eyes off the road and your hands off the steering wheel. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize how dangerous and STUPID that is. However, when a person is stopped at a traffic light waiting to move, I think she should be allowed to text.

And I guess what really irritates me about the new law is, it's going to be pretty tough to enforce so it seems sorta obvious that it's just another way to slap more fines on people in the event they get pulled over or have an accident. Because if it is legal to make calls on your cell phone, which most definitely requires a user to PUSH THE BUTTONS on her cell phone, then how can a police officer who is passing by look at a driver, see her pushing buttons and know she's texting? She could be placing a call, which is still legal. See my point? It's STUPID.

And finally, if we're all in agreement that taking your eyes off the road and hands off the wheel is dangerous in the case of texting, why can we not just simplify the law as follows: If you are doing something in the car that requires you to take your eyes off the road/hands off the wheel, you're endangering yourself and others. Period. Why is it illegal for me to write a text while I'm driving, but it's PERFECTLY FINE for the lady in the car next to me to put on eyeliner and mascara while her car is in motion? Surely that is equally dangerous.

I have a 45+ minute commute. I see a lot of crazy, crazy crap going on in cars every morning and night - people texting and putting on makeup, people eating big greasy burgers with their eyes glued shut, people fumbling with cigarettes and lighters, people turned around in the seat to scold a child while their car is in motion, people READING BOOKS while driving...so I ask you - who cares? Who cares if I text, if all that mania is still legal? So while I'm paying my $100 texting fine, that lady over there who ran into me while she was painting her nails is off the hook? Lame.

I'm still gonna text when I'm stopped at lights. So there.

So you think you're a city?

This past weekend, I braved a severe cold and a 2,000 mile journey and flew to Portland, Oregon to meet up with Jay on the tail end of his business trip and do a little sightseeing and exploring in a new state - my 36th state, thankyouverymuch. This leaves only Alaska, Hawaii, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Nevada, Idaho, Washington, Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin and Iowa! 14 to go! And I'll get to knock out Washington next month. Woo!

So but anyway - Portland is a GREAT town! I really enjoyed myself, despite the drippy nose and sinus headache and lingering cough. I rallied. We had a wonderful time exploring the neighborhoods, kitchy and quaint, the Saturday morning market, the surprisingly progressive public transportation options and the assortment of excellent eateries. We definitely took in a VooDoo Doughnut and rode the Portland Aerial Tram up the hillside, though Mount Hood didn't see fit to come out for us. We traipsed through lovely, light drizzle and played at Finnegan's Toys. It was a great weekend in a great town with oodles of character.

Which leads me to make inevitable comparisons between Portland and my current residence of Charlotte, North Carolina. Charlotte is a wonderful town to live in and especially to raise a family. It's absolutely beautiful - one of the prettiest cities I've ever seen in my life, if not the most beautiful all-around - and it's clean and it's relatively safe for a city of its size. It's a little lacking in the public schools but that's not a factor for me since I don't have children. It's got great accessibility to the mountains as well as the coast, and it's in the middle of one of the prettiest states in the country. Not to mention the weather is fantastic - what's not to love?

I'll tell you. The biggest drawback to Charlotte is that it has no history - no historic landmarks or features to speak of - and a great deal of implants, which results in a sort of a culture-less town. This is a beautiful, pleasant city with absolutely no draw for tourism. There's really nothing here to make a person want to visit, unless you're a die-hard Nascar or Carolina Panthers fan, or you're in banking. The city doesn't have any real unique flavor or attractions to draw you in - and that's always been a setback for me.

Portland, like Charlotte, enjoys proximity to mountains - huge ones too - and the coast, albeit a colder and rainier coast. Well, rainier is a bit misleading, as I mentioned in an earlier post. But unlike Charlotte, Portland has character in abundance. It's a very progressive and liberal town, and it's full of what I like to call weirdos. Lovable sort of weirdos, but weirdos nonetheless. Really, the entire time I was in Portland, I found myself noticing so many things that are just MISSING from Charlotte and most of the south, things I've been missing since I left the Northeast. It's interesting that I had to travel all the way to the left side of the country to find a "real city" again, but it's true. I did. Portland is a small big city that packs a big punch. Comparisons to Charlotte are sort of easy, because they're geographically somewhat similar, and Portland is only slightly larger with 2.1 million in its metro area as opposed to Charlotte's 1.7 million.

So what makes a city a "real city?" Let me spell it out for you.

1. A thriving urban center

In order to be a real city, you have to have both commerce and urban living in your "downtown" metropolis. People must live, work and shop in the city center. Charlotte doesn't have this - people work in the city center, but they live in the outskirts and various neighborhoods and suburbs. There is also next to no retail "uptown" (Charlotte's downtown is called uptown) and half the restaurants are closed during the day. So no one goes uptown unless they're working or attending a specific event (usually at night). Portland thrives day and night, 24/7 because its residents live and work and play and shop and eat in the city.

2. Public transportation

Charlotte's working on it - we added one light rail line a couple of years ago and it's been really successful. There's a mediocre bus system here that can only improve. But Portland boasts the Portland Streetcar, which runs all through the city and is free in downtown, as well as MAX light rail and a great bus system. Win.

 

3. A rich and proud history

A city should really have lots of billboards all around, but even better is when it's got VINTAGE signage and billboards. It's kitchy, it's retro, and it shows a historical side that's nice to see - especially when you're coming from a place where everything has been built in the last 30 years. Additionally, it's great when vintage buildings are also allowed to be incorporated into the new architecture of a town. Really adds that illustrious CHARACTER we're all seeking in our cities.

 

 

4. Street vendors

It's a staple of a "real city" to walk around and see street food - not restaurants, but STREET VENDORS SELLING YOU DELICIOUS AND HOPEFULLY ETHNICALLY DIVERSE TREATS. Yum!

 

5. Street musicians/homeless people

Portland may be a little TOO heavy on the latter, but it was sure nice to see the former, especially when we see just about NEITHER in Charlotte. Not that I'm saying we ever want anyone to have to live on the street, but it feels too cleaned up when you're in a city where everything's buttoned up, prim and proper and straight out of a J Crew ad (I'm looking at you, soccer moms). In Portland, there's grit. And there are a lot of homeless people, but by god, they seem pretty happy to me. Lots of them even have dogs. (Side note: I love it when Charlotteans refer to "the ghetto" - friends, you've never seen a ghetto).

 

6. Open air markets

This is basically self-explanatory, but I think all real cities should have some form of a regular marketplace, preferably outdoors. Charleston, SC is famous for its Marketplace, it's bustling every single day. In Charlotte, there has to be a reason to have a Market or a Festival. Like, it's Ethnic Day! So everyone come out and enjoy some Ethnic Foods! How about we make this a more regular thing? Oh right - because no one lives, works AND plays in the urban center! That's right. Portland has the biggest regular outdoor market in the country - every weekend for like 10 months out of the year.

 

 

7. Thriving arts and cultural scene

Charlotte really tries here, but we come up a little short. We do get big concert tours and we are privy to a few small indie bands and venues, but it's really relegated to a pretty small niche in town. I love how people here go on and on about NoDa - this sorta progressive, trendy neighborhood where there's an arts scene and some boho eateries and galleries and music venues. NoDa is like four or five blocks. ALL of Portland is like NoDa. Rain or shine, everywhere you look are signs posted for various shows in venues all over town. There's art all around you, street performers - while we were there we saw everything from dudes on stilts working some dancers like marionettes below them to the violinist I pictured above. Rain or shine, man. Art thrives. I will say that Charlotte and Portland both do make the effort as far as the bigger arts venues - museums, galleries, opera and orchestra, ballet, theatre - both have many offerings, but I'd say Portland definitely wins as far as fostering and nurturing independent and small-scale artists.

 

8. Landmarks and identity-building scenery and attractions

Portland is sandwiched between Mount St. Helens and Mt. Hood along the Columbia and Willamette rivers. Win. This brings tourism and other bonuses. Also, Portland has some really well-known attractions for visitors to the city center - Powell's Books, VooDoo Doughnuts and more are staples of the Portland experience.

 

9. A diverse population

Portland and Charlotte both could stand a little bit of improvement in this area, really, but I do think it's a key element to a really city-like city - how diverse is it? Is it home to all sorts of people from all walks of life and all parts of the world? How much of that mix of culture is evident in the society of the city?

10. Strong commerce and revenue-building business

Charlotte's known for its banking. Portland is the home of Nike and Columbia outdoor gear (or so I'm told). There's gotta be something that pays the bills, in the end.

Don't mistake me and read this and think, MAN this chick HATES Charlotte. I don't hate Charlotte. I like it quite a lot. As I said, it's totally gorgeous - beautiful landscaping everywhere you look. It's comfy and most of all, the people are FREAKISHLY friendly. Which can be obnoxious sometimes, but you do miss it when you leave. And all the glorious sunshine, though I often miss the snow, really does help to liven your spirits, whether you notice it or not. It's a great life I have here. It was just interesting to see something completely, 100% different, and I think when people down south ask themselves if they want Charlotte to grow up to be like Atlanta, they might actually be better off to look more toward cities like Portland that are similar in size and geography (hey - we're not far from the coast OR the big mountains of the east).

Is Charlotte a real city? Not yet. But it could be...oh, it certainly could be! Is YOUR city a real city? Interesting food for thought!

Next up - Seattle! For SURE a real city and one I cannot wait to explore!

Internet friends are people, too!

Last weekend I did the most awesome thing. I got together with a bunch of my KNITTING friends from the INTERNET in Charlottesville, Virginia. For a weekend of YARN. And KNITTING. Hurray for nerdiness!

It was a get-together of about fifteen women whom I've been chatting with for the last couple of years on Ravelry, which is basically Facebook for yarnies. We're all members of a group called Yarn Snobs - loving the finest, snobbiest yarns and fibers. We all shacked up in hotel rooms and spent the weekend stitching and bitching and going on wine tours. It was magnificent. My friend Erin, owner of EatSleepKnit, drove up to my house from Atlanta, and we picked up another friend, Ceylan, who had flown in from Texas, and then the three of us gabbed all the way to C-ville. It was outstanding.

Probably the highlight of the weekend was the giant yarn-swap we had. Every woman brought many skeins of unwanted yarn to sell or trade, and we had an enormous bartering/trading/swapping/purchasing fair in the hotel suite. It was incredible. I was so overstimulated, trying to sort through all the gorgeous fiber and yarn and envision projects and work out trades. I almost died of multiple yarn-gasm shock.

All in all, the weekend was awesome. I got to make friends "in real life" with women I've been spending a lot of time - "virtual time" - with over the years, and not surprisingly, they were awesome. I think we all found it a bit surreal to be together in person, but after a few minutes it wasn't weird at all, we just picked up where we'd left off on the internet and away we went, chatting until all hours of the night all weekend long. It was just so exciting to get to be around people who GET my hobby - and the coolest part was, it turned out we GOT each other on a lot of other levels too. Probably not a big surprise!

When I explained where I was going to some of my friends and coworkers, they seemed pretty perplexed about the idea of me going off to hang out with people I met ON THE INTERNET. And I find myself wondering - is this really still such a weird thing? In an age where people often meet people online? Nowadays, a lot of people find friends, dates, jobs and more online. So why is it still considered weird? And some of the other girls also mentioned similar responses from their friends and coworkers.

And so I'd love to know - do you think it's weird to meet people online? I have had this go really, really well (hi, Kari!) and also really, really badly, but for the most part, I have made some amazing friends over the internet. I also got to know my husband online - even though we knew each other through a mutual friend, most of our communication was online. I just don't really think meeting online is much weirder than meeting in a bar - it's no more random, anyway.

And plus - the YARN! SO much YARN when you meet your internet friends! At least, in my world there is. There's already talk of a west coast Ravelry Yarn Snobs meetup in 2010 - Napa? Yes please!

Charlottesville Yarn Snobs Meet-up

WARSZAWA!

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to POLAND! Warsaw (pronounce it right), to be exact.

Why, you might wonder? My husband works for a big company based in Sweden. They do business all over the world, and every year they have a world communications meeting in a major city, alternating continents to make it fair and fun for their employees who are traveling from around the globe. Spouses are allowed and encouraged to come along. Last year the meeting was in New York. This year - in March - it'll be in Warsaw.

At first, we heard the meeting might take place in Helsinki, Stockholm, London or Prague. Awesome - I would have absolutely loved traveling to any of those places. My husband's already been to Helsinki and Stockholm, so I know how great they are. I got to travel to London last year, so that's an obvious win. And Prague? Well, that's just cool.

So when I heard earlier this week that it was maybe going to be in Warsaw, I admit I was a bit stumped. I thought the same thing you're probably thinking right now. Poland?! Warsaw?! REALLY?! If you're anything like me, the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Warsaw is this:

Or maybe this:

 

Or perhaps even this:

 

I'm pretty well-studied on World War II. I even took a course specifically about the Holocaust in college. When I think of Poland, I think of ghettos, uprisings, concentration camps, bombings and thousands upon thousands of people starved, enslaved, beaten and killed. Warsaw doesn't exactly evoke thoughts of holiday at first - in fact, the entire city was destroyed near the end of the war.

But you know what? I love to travel. And I love history. And I'd basically decided that I was going with Jay no matter where the meeting ended up taking place. So when I heard Warsaw, I pushed aside the obvious thoughts of war and devastation and I got online to do some research. Fortunately, I have a very dear friend (hi, Kari!) who spend a good chunk of time living in Poland a few years ago, and I knew I could count on her as a great resource. And you know what? It only took about 30 minutes for me to get TOTALLY excited about the prospect of exploring "Warszawa," Poland. 

 

 

 

Isn't it neat-looking?

What's likely to happen is that I'll be in Warsaw with Jay while he has meetings, but before, after or both we'll be checking out some other spots - Krakow is high on my list. I KNOW - you think it's depressing. But it's not! Check it.

 

 

See? Krakow is totally adorable! Squee!

Or how about Torun - a medieval village that's, according to Kari, the "gingerbread capitol of Europe." MAJOR DRAW.

So here's what I have to say to the naysayers: I think if a person has the opportunity to travel, she should do it. I want to see the world - as much of it as possible. There's almost nowhere I would refuse to go - basically only the most dangerous spots on the globe, places where I'm likely to die from an exploding car bomb or the like. And what's awesome is this. If you asked me, "What are the top 10 places you want to visit," Poland wouldn't have been on the list. It wouldn't have been on the top 20. But that's really only because I don't know much about it post-WW2 - which means I really don't know it at all.

But a couple of days' research has convinced me there's a LOT of neat stuff in Poland and seeing it can only make me a smarter, more interesting person. And I don't think a person should ever pass up a chance to become more interesting.

So - I'm going to Poland. In March. And possibly to a couple of other places along the way. Unless Jay's company changes course and we end up going to Helsinki after all. Either way, I'm pumped.

She's only happy when it rains...

For the next couple of weeks the husband is spending a bunch of time doing some serious business travel. It's no fun being alone so much, but the good news? Next week I'll be jetting west to meet Jay in Portland, OR. I'm really, REALLY excited to check it out. For a long time now, I've felt sort of an uncanny draw to the Pacific Northwest, and I just can't say how pumped I am to finally check it out. And as if that weren't exciting enough - in December, I'll be joining him on a trip to Seattle! Swoon!

In my excitement, I've been doing a lot of reading up about Portland & Seattle and also chatting with people who have been there. I'm really excited to do some sight-seeing and just take in the glorious Northwest. It's gonna rule. Every time I've told someone I'm visiting these cities, the response is, "Oh my gosh, you are going to love both places! They're absolutely awesome!" However, many of these exclamations are followed by, "Oh, but it's so gloomy and rainy there."

Yes, it's a well-known fact that it rains a lot in Seattle and Portland...or is it? I was pretty surprised at what I found when I started researching the area. For instance - did you know that it actually rains less in Seattle than it does right here in Charlotte? Of the three cities, Charlotte boasts the highest annual precipitation at 43.52" per year; Seattle comes in second at 37.07"; Portland is last in line at 36.30" annually. Yeah, I know - I was really surprised too - because that's a pretty sizable difference between Charlotte and Seattle/Portland.

So it turns out that Seattle and Portland actually see far less precipitation than other areas in Washington and Oregon. A little time with maps and weather reports informed me that both cities seem to have far milder climates than points east. The biggest contributor to the rain myth seems to be cloud cover - Seattle experiences cloud cover more than 220 days of the year. People see cloudy and they think dark and stormy. Apparently, it's less about downpours and more often about misty dampness.

Further research informs me that both cities enjoy fairly mild temperatures with warm, dry summers and colder, wetter winters. Only on occasion do temperatures spike over 85 degrees in these cities, although heat waves do happen (this summer, for instance). Likewise, there's not a lot of snowfall, though that happens from time to time too.

As a person who likes snowfall and, believe it or not, honest-to-goodness LOVES rainy days, I fully anticipate 100% love of the Pacific Northwest and its climate. Because all that damp, cloudy weather yields oodles of luscious green foliage for me to drool over. And off in the not-so-distant-distance loom giant mountains, craggy and snow-capped. Count me IN! I know you think I'm nuts, but I seriously love dark, stormy and/or snowy days best of all! Besides, dark days make the sunny days seem sunnier.

I love exploring new places, and I just feel so lucky that I get to knock out 2 of the cities I'm most antsy to see within the next month! So if any of you have suggestions for things to do, food to eat and places to check out, please let me know! I'm up for your suggestions!

But first, a girls' weekend in Charlottesville, VA starts Friday - yet another new place to see!

Seriously, with all the amazing places in the world, who can stay home?

Mad at Maine.

I'm really pissed off at Maine.

Six months ago, the state of Maine passed a bill that would allow gay marriage. Yesterday, the voters of Maine headed to the polls to make sure that wouldn't come to pass, and they succeeded. The law was rejected. This follows a similar incident last fall in California, when voters in that state passed Proposition 8 banning gay marriage. As in Maine, the state's decision was overridden by the public at the polls.

I'm not gay. I don't have any family members who are gay. But to me, this issue cuts straight to the heart of human rights and human decency. Who am I, who is anyone, to say some humans should be denied fundamental rights? This isn't a question of religion - it's a question of humanity. And sometimes it is the role of the law to make decisions on behalf of citizens. I know, I know - government intervention is evil. But the general population doesn't always get it right. If government hadn't ever intervened, how long might it have taken for people to opt via general election to grant women or black citizens their basic human rights?

I'm sure many of you have heard the phrase "tyranny of the majority" - and if you haven't, take heed. The basic idea is that, left to their own devices, the majority will gang up on the minority and the minority will lose. But the majority isn't always right (i.e. CIVIL RIGHTS). And sometimes it is the DUTY, yes the DUTY of those in charge to stand up for the little guy.

And right now, gay and lesbian citizens are the little guy. Here's a fantastic argument for why the right to a civil union should never even have been on a ballot to begin with.

Some of you have heard me talk about a certain friend who has not once, but TWICE de-friended me on social media sites for making political comments. More than 100% of participants in a recent poll on my Facebook page concluded that de-friending someone for speaking up is LAMER THAN LAME. The first time it happened, I was really crushed. The second time, I didn't care.

Last year, during the presidential election, some things came to the surface with a black man and a woman running for president that just sickened me. Issues were stirred up that I hadn't had to deal with among friends before. And I had a sort of personal epiphany. While I absolutely respect that some people's views won't line up with mine, and I am fine with that, I'm no longer going to give hate a free pass.

What I mean is this. If you truly believe that gay marriage is evil, that gay people are going to hell, then fine. I'm not going to try and change your mind. I think you're wrong, but I'm not going to argue with you. You are entitled to think that. But the minute you cross the line from "I personally think this is wrong" to "I am going to vote to remove someone's rights," I'm done. Go ahead and think gay marriage is evil - you have fun with all that hatred. It's probably exhausting. But if you voted against gay marriage, you are hateful.

HATEFUL.

Because who CARES? Why does it matter to you if your neighbor is gay and gets married? It changes NOTHING about your life. But your vote absolutely changes your neighbor's life. Who are you to say, to judge? What's the big deal? Are you scared your kid is going to go to school with a kid who's got gay parents? And they're going to hang out and your kid is gonna TURN GAY? Get a grip! This is the world we live in - gay people are people too. 

Should I have been denied marriage because I married a Jew, or he married me? Because it's the same thing. Should black people still be sitting at the back of the bus? Should women still be denied the right to vote?

This has nothing to do with religion. It has to do with ignorance, fear and hate. And I'm not going to stand for it. I can't force people to wake up and become better people. But I can call it like I see it. Hate. If you don't want to marry a gay couple in your church, don't - but there's NO REASON I can see to deny them a civil ceremony and the same basic rights as any heterosexual, committed couple.

And one more thing - this whole notion of tolerance? That has to go. Tolerance doesn't help. Acceptance helps. Don't just deign to tolerate those who are different from you - accept them. Open your heart, accept it and MOVE ON.

From now on, anyone who moves to strip a person's rights as a human or to prevent them from gaining basic human rights that have previously been denied them is a HATEFUL person. There's no sugar-coating that. You do your thing, I'll do mine - but don't take my right to my thing away from me. Not till I've hurt or killed someone should I EVER have to worry about my rights being taken from me. And having your kid exposed to gayness, or having to work with a gay person is absolutely not murder or hurt. It's REAL LIFE. THIS IS THE REAL WORLD - join it ANY TIME. You can keep voting it down, but it's not going away.

Word nerd.

I'm a big nerd. We all know this. And I was once an English major. Literature was more my focus than linguistics or grammar, and I'm certainly human and make mistakes, but I still can't take it when people can't tell the difference between "it's" and "its" or "their," "there" and "they're."

In addition to my impatience for grammatically-challenged users of the English language, another pet peeve: the social embrace and perpetuation of bastardized pronunciation. Put another way - entire societies saying a word incorrectly all the time. And not realizing it.

I could go on a tangent now about how the English language is on its deathbed. Because when words are pronounced the wrong way by enough people, we just accept it and it becomes the new norm. It's so very American, isn't it? To just say a word however we feel like it, trusting that everyone around us will just go with it and ultimately CHANGE IT IN THE DICTIONARY. *sigh*

Let's look at a few words that NO ONE knows how to pronounce anymore, starting with a few that are still absolutely black-and-white as far as pronunciation and then continuing on to the ones that are becoming lost causes.

Simple mistakes: grocery
Correct pronunciation: groh-suh-ree
Bastardized pronunciations: grohs-ree, grohsh-ree

I think this one is just born of sheer laziness. I'll even find myself saying it the wrong way if I don't stop and think about it and do what's right. Because not paying attention to your pronunciation makes you a sheep! A stupid sheep with ugly wool!

Inexplicable addition of sounds: realtor
Correct pronunciation: ree-uhl-ter
Bastardized pronunciation: ree-luh-ter

Friends. Look at the letters, okay? There's no "uh" in between the L and the T. There just isn't. This is a pretty simple one, so let's just try it together a few times now, okay? Deep breath and...Real...ter. REALTOR.

Sheer disregard for rules: coupon
Correct pronunciation: coo-pon
Bastardized pronunciation: kyoo-pon

Coo. COOOOO! Coo like a dove, friends. Embrace that gentle, soothing sound and then stick a pon at the end. COOOPON! COOOOOOOOOPON. Not kyoooo-pon, you hick.

The curse of the hick: vehicle
Correct pronunciation: vee-i-kuhl
Bastardized pronunciations: vee-hik-uhl

There's really no nice way to say this, but only two types of people say "vee-hik-uhl" - people trying to sound really intelligent (like the ones who pronounce the word human "yoo-man" - so, when the h belongs there, you don't say it, and when it doesn't you do...LOGICAL) and complete hicks. The word is "vee-i-kuhl." And yet there does seem to be an explanation for the error. Let's look at what Dictionary has to say about it:

Because the primary stress in vehicle is on the first syllable, the [h] in the second syllable tends to disappear: [vee-i-kuhl]. A pronunciation with primary stress on the second syllable and a fully pronounced [h] is usually considered nonstandard: [vee-hik-uhl]. In the adjective vehicular, where the primary stress is normally on the second syllable, the [h] is always pronunced.

Did you follow that, folks? Pronouncing the word like "vee-hik-uhl" is considered nonstandard. In other words, IT'S WRONG. Unless you're saying "vehicular" which most people are not. So stop being a hick (or a jerk) and ditch the H!

Lost causes: February
Correct pronunciation: feb-roo-er-ee
Bastardized pronuciations: feb-yoo-er-ee; feb-oo-er-ee

This is a tricky one - it's tough to achieve the double-R thing. It takes work. Lazy speakers over the years have changed this word almost irrevocably into "feb-yoo-er-ee" - I suspect (and so does dictionary.com) that's largely influenced by the month of "jan-yoo-er-ee." I am sad to say I doubt we'll ever be able to teach the American public to properly pronounce this word.

These are just a few of the words that tick me off just about every time I hear them botched by friends, coworkers and passers-by. How about you? Which frequently abused words just make your skin crawl?

No more holidays.

My wedding anniversary was a few days ago - three years. Jay and I have been so busy this fall, and money is a little bit tight at the moment because we have some big things coming up, plus a lot of work we're doing to our house. Last year we took a really neat trip to D.C. for our anniversary weekend, but this time we decided we'd better stay home and do it on the cheap. We've got trips to Portland and Seattle coming up to look forward to. And as much as we both love to travel, if there is one person I don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time with, it's my husband.

So we decided that since the anniversary fell on a Wednesday in the middle of a really busy week, we'd just have a simple night at home together then and get a nice dinner out on Friday. We started a tradition last year of baking our wedding cake for our anniversary, so we agreed to do that again this year, and thought it would be fun to order our favorite pizza and have wine and cake. Fun, laid-back, easy-going - that's us!

Enter Craptastic Freelance Drama. Horrible, mood-killing ordeal that's been going on for the better part of six weeks and absolutely came to a frenzied, orgasmic climax ON WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28. Our anniversary. It was as though the universe and all its organisms had conspired to make MY special day the absolute biggest let-down of the year. And as if that weren't enough? I had a pretty bad experience at the doctor that afternoon that served as the icing on the anniversary cake.

And I sort of had an epiphany - nothing I hadn't thought of before, but more like I just hadn't seen it clearly till then. One of the hardest thing about growing up is realizing there are no more holidays.

Yes, of course holidays still happen. And we still celebrate them. But as a child, we expect the world to stop, turn around and genuflect to us on all holidays and special occasions. It's my birthday, so everyone will be sweet to me and bring me presents and I'll get to look my very prettiest! Hurrah! It's Christmas, so we'll all wake up together in a glow of lovey family warmth, and we'll get everything we wished for and then spend a worry-free day together as a happy family! Hurrah!

Not so fast, bub. As an adult, none of this holds true. It may be your birthday, or your anniversary, but the world keeps spinning. You're still expected to show up at work, and your coworkers may or may not have the time, energy or resources to make your day special, but they're still gonna expect you to do your job. And there's no magical shield to protect you from all the bullshit that can rain down on you in a given day. There's no free pass because your kid is turning six, or your mom is being ordained or any other thing. And the sooner we can just accept that and not expect our holidays to be flawless, the happier we will be.

One thing I'm learning with age is to enjoy the magic moments as they occur, rather than to schedule them. You can't schedule them. It may be Thanksgiving, but maybe you just got fired and you don't FEEL like giving thanks. There are some positives to admitting that holidays aren't always filled with joy and cheer. It takes the pressure off. You can just BE. You don't feel obligated to make it awesome because the calendar says you must. You start to realize that even though your birthday is today, you can celebrate it tomorrow if you'd rather. Life isn't always meant to be lived by the books.

Which is a big statement, coming from someone like me - someone who always feels the need to plan everything out. But on Wednesday, even though I was happy that it was my anniversary, I couldn't exactly stop the anger that I felt over some of the things going on in my life. So I compromised. I let myself be mad *gasp* EVEN THOUGH IT WAS MY ANNIVERSARY. And you know what? It felt kinda great! And then Jay and I had a lovely evening together, chowing down on pizza and cake, and the best part? He didn't mind that some of the time was spent discussing the things that were making me nuts. Because he understands that, while we always will acknowledge and celebrate the day we got married, the magic isn't limited to a 24-hour block on the calendar. It's happening all the time, in unexpected corners of time.

Every day is Yom Kippur, or your birthday, or Thanksgiving, a little bit. And that is a freeing and encouraging realization.